Kim Davis, a Kentucky county clerk, is making headlines by denying marriage licenses for same-sex couples despite the recent federal court ruling...and several court orders demanding she comply with the federal law.
From what I've seen, most reasonable people think her behavior is unacceptable and I agree. As an elected official, she has a responsibility to uphold the law. If she disagrees with that law because of moral/religous beliefs, that's fine. Make your statement. Disagree. Sacrifice your job. She needs to resign because she cannot uphold the law and that's what she was elected to do.
However, that's not what has bothered me. Over and over again, I've seen people blast this woman's personal life, specifically her marriage history. Apparently, she's been divorced several times and, because of that, she is a hypocrite in disagreeing with same-sex marriage. The tag line goes something like "Protecting the sanctity of marriage by denying same-sex marriage licenses? Says the woman who's been divorced three times."
I find these kinds of attacks abhorrent. For one, unless you know her personally, you do not know the circumstances of her marriages or divorce. Perhaps abuse was involved. Many times, women who marry one jerk tend to marry the same kind of jerk.
But that's not really the point. Christians, even those who support gay marriage, should never use this "look at your history, you don't have any right to stand up for your beliefs" stance. Why? Because we understand that we are all sinners.
"...He that is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone at her." -John 8:7.
I don't swear very often, but occasionally a situation arises where it seems to be the only appropriate reaction. Does the fact that I have sworn in the past negate my right to stand up and say "I think swearing is inappropriate?"
Or, how about this one: before my husband returned to church, he was a quite a drinker. He got himself into some pretty serious trouble. But he has since stopped, never had a drink again, and we don't allow it in our home and we will teach our children the same. Does the fact that he has had alcohol in his past mean he can't say "I believe that drinking alcohol is against what my God what's me to do"?
Or how about anger. We are commanded to turn the other cheek, to be slow to anger. But, seriously, which one of hasn't gotten angry...and knows we won't get angry again.
Or how about the most important of commandments: love your God and love your neighbor as you love yourself. How many of us have chosen to put something else before God? How many of us has treated our neighbor (who is anyone around us) poorly? And it will probably happen again. Because we are human. Life is complicated. Circumstances get difficult. Are we not ALL hypocrites?
Even those of us in this human family who are not Christian or religious can understand that we can believe something while having lived that belief imperfectly. We can preach our belief in the sanctity of all life...while doing everything we can to eliminate the pests in our homes. We can teach our children to love everyone...except those who do not agree with us or those that do bad things. We all live our beliefs imperfectly because, well, we are imperfect. So why do we put people like Kim on blast for being, well, imperfect?
So I have cringed every time I've seen a meme attacking that woman as a hypocrite because of her past choices (which she would probably admit were mistakes...probably in that she should not have married those men or any number of issues that contribute to divorce). Does that mean she cannot believe marriage is sacred? No. She may very well wish for a Godly marriage...but, perhaps, has gone about it the wrong way.
I've seen the same thing with Bristol Palin. The champion of abstinence who makes her living traveling around and encouraging people to wait to have sex until after marriage. She is about to have her second child out of wedlock. People made fun of her. But my heart broke for her. Anyone who has been young understands how hard it can be to be chaste. It IS difficult in this world...and she understands that more than anyone. Does that mean she does not believe people should not wait until after marriage? No, I'm sure she believes it just as much as before. But she messed up. Big time.
Does it make her a hypocrite. Yes. But no more than the rest of us. She just happens to live in the public light.
Hypocrisy is one of the biggest sins. It is what Jesus chastised the Pharisees for over and over again in the New Testament. It is something we must be aware of in ourselves and do our best to stay away from. However, we learn from the scriptures that it was the Lord doing the condemning and he specifically taught with the "...He that is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone at her..." that that is His job. It is above our pay grade. We are not the judge. Probably because he knew that we are all hypocrites on some level and could not justly judge.
God doesn't care where we are on the path, only that we are traveling in the right direction. Would he have us quit and jump off the path when we screw up? No. We ask for forgiveness and jump back on the path. Will we mess up again? Perhaps. Probably. Most likely. Should we jump off the path then? No. We keep on truckin in the right direction. That is all we can do. Who are we to judge where people are on the path if God does not? Who are we to tell people that might as well have jumped off the path and have no right to believe in right or wrong because they screwed up?
I LOVE this quote from this talk: "If we don’t try, we’re just latter-day sinners; if we don’t persevere,
we’re latter-day quitters; and if we don’t allow others to try, we’re
just latter-day hypocrites.
As we try, persevere, and help others to do the same, we are true
Latter-day Saints. As we change, we will find that God indeed cares a
lot more about who we are and about who we are becoming than about who
we once were."
I disagree with what this clerk is doing. Maybe she's doing it because she genuinely believes it. Maybe she's doing it to be a martyr and get a martyr's pay day. Perhaps her past actions haven't made her the poster child for marriage. But that doesn't mean she deserve the right to stand up for what she says she believes.
For we are all hypocrites.
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