Since our last baby was born about 4.5 years ago, we have bought a house a moved. Not too terribly far away but far enough to need a new OB/GYN and hospital.
Since it was a new hospital, we signed up to take a free tour of the hospital mostly because we wanted to help the kids feel more comfortable with the idea of mom being in the hospital, etc. (Vivi is a very anxious child and we wanted to alleviate some of her stress about it and help her enjoy her visit more when she came to see the baby the first time). Unfortunately, after we signed up, we found out there are no kids allowed on the tour, but Doug wanted to take the tour because he wanted to get familiar with which entrance to go in, where to park, etc. I appreciated his diligence because the last thing I wanted to do is park on the wrong side of the hospital and have to walk across the campus while having contractions (did that with Vivi).
So on the tour we went.
It was an interesting experience to see all these anxious first-time parents (I can't say moms because one dad also asked LOTS of questions) on the tour from the eyes of a third-time mom. For the most part they were quiet, but I could see their brains trying to suck in and retain every last word the tour guide/nurse said.
Doug and I mostly noted where the "Nutrition Room" was...that was the kitchen available to patients and the support with a freezer, microwave, etc.
They asked about how many people could fit into one room during delivery and visiting hours. The one very persistent dad mentioned her mother, his mother, etc. The number of times he asked about the amount of people that could fit in the room made it sound like they were going to have a party.
I'm thinking, "Dude. You better check with your wife. And, lady, you do not want a party up in here."
They all asked about visiting hours. "What if we deliver in the middle of the night, can people come then, etc."
I'm thinking, "Gosh, I don't know if I want anyone to come the whole first day. I just want to sleep." Knowing that people come when they can throughout the day and that's usually just about when you're going to fall asleep. (Don't worry family, you're totally welcome to come, but I'm sure I won't pretend to be as perky as I was in babies past).
When one lady asked what she should wear to L&D, I couldn't help but smile inwardly remembering seriously pondering that exact same question. At that point I volunteered what I had done...then Doug reminded me that I only did that with Vivi and with Mac it was just the hospital gownr.
Oh yeah...I'd forgotten. See. It mattered SO much. But I remember fretting and stressing about it and things like it.
What did I ask about?
"So there's no non-medical nursery?" (there is a medical nursery on the floor for babies who need special medical care). The nurse explained there was no nursery, which sort of bummed me out because I had been considering asking the nurse to take the baby to the nursery at some point the night after so I could sleep. The hospital will be my only chance to have that amount of experience watching over the baby while I sleep and I wouldn't have to wake up at every cry or peep if he was in the nursery. Knowing I'll have two other littles to take care of when I got home, I figured it was an opportunity. But no dice. And I'm sure those first time parents were like, "Wow. Doesn't she want to be with her baby?"
I also asked what the thresh hold was for getting admitted was as she explained there was a triage room for moms to get checked out and then it would be decided to admit or send packing to wait. Each hospital, I'm sure, has a different protocol/procedure/philosophy and I wanted to make sure I could get in when I needed lol
As the nurse reviewed some procedure stuff, I realized I don't remember any of this stuff. Simply because when you're in labor basically nothing mattered to me but getting my epidural and then the baby. After the baby's out, you just don't notice much of anything other than your sweet babe. It's all fuzzy. The details were nice, but most, I realized, not important to me.
Mostly Doug and I walked around quietly observing the people and the place where we would deliver our son. One young dad looked a bit overwhelmed and uncomfortable. On the other side of it was the dad-to-be who was very thorough with his questions and very engaged. Then I looked at Doug sitting in the windowsill of the room. He looked bored, mostly. He looked like he was a pro. And it was fun to think how nervous and anxious he was before our first.
I asked later what he was thinking during the tour and he confirmed that it wasn't anything new to him. I asked what advice he would've given to those other dads. He said, "Just be there. That's really all you can do. I mean, really, we don't do anything. You want something, I get it. Be there to support the moms emotionally."
And this is coming from a guy who CAUGHT both of our kids, so he was pretty involved. But, yeah, pretty right on.
The tour really was helpful, but as we reviewed information about lactation consultants (I've BF both my other kids after struggling with the first), where friends and family can wait in the hospital (do people really do that? We didn't even tell our families we went to the hospital until after the baby was born), importance of selecting a pediatrician, etc. I just felt relieved and happy this wasn't my first baby lol. All that stress about stuff that either just doesn't matter (ie what to bring to the hospital. I packed so much useless crap in my hospital bag THREE months before my firs due date: tennis ball, sock filled with rice, clothes that couldn't possibly fit, 5 baby outfits, etc) or just doesn't apply to us because we know how we like to do things, what worked and what didn't work.
So. Soon to be first time parents, I salute you. And I'm glad I'm not you. :)
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